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Friday, July 30, 2010

"Stand By Me" Moment

My dietitian post reminded me of a beautiful moment.  (By beautiful I really mean revolting.)


A little background:  Macho Man has always had this hilarious gag reflex.  If he sees something gross, or even thinks about something really gross he'll start retching.  I don't mean gross like blood and gore- he can handle that.  He's Macho Man.  I'm talking about poop and boogers.  He can't handle it.  He'll tell you that he won't lose his cool with a gun in his face, but if he was flying a plane you could hijack him with a big green booger on your finger.  For years I thought it was fake.  It must be some sort of attention seeking behavior.  I was still not entirely convinced even when he tried to change his first real poopy diaper and ended up with his head in the kitchen sink losing his lunch.  I'm thinking: what an elaborate ruse to avoid diaper duty, but if he's determined enough to actually heave his guts up, I'll just change the farking things myself and hold it over his head to get him to do other stuff.  (Isn't it bad that I think that way?  Oh whatever, you know you do too.)

The day I finally believed him that he couldn't help it was the day that this happened.  


I had decided that Blue Eyes was going to learn to eat vegetables whether he liked it or not.  I put a kernel of corn into his mouth and held it in with a hand over his mouth.  I mean, come on, corn isn't even a real vegetable.  My method sounds brutal, but I was gentle- and I was giving him lots of encouragement... "It's not so bad- taste it!  It's the same thing as popcorn.  You like popcorn...."  He's crying immediately and begging to spit it out but I was convinced if I could just get past the first bite he'd realize it wasn't so bad.  


Then he starts vomiting.  Vomits 2-3 times on the floor. 


Guns and Lil' Bit are sitting at the table with us.  Gunner watches for a second then starts gagging and vomiting....vomits 3-4 times all over the floor.  But worse, he's trying to escape the scene and runs over the carpet as he continues to vomit.  


Next thing I know Macho Man comes in to see what's going on, and he starts gagging and vomiting in the kitchen sink.  


Lil' Bit and I are just looking at each other in disbelief and I think to myself:  Oh my.  It's legit.  And it's farking inherited.


I don't have to tell you who was cleaning up all that vomit by their lonesome.  I won't be trying that again.  


But I couldn't miss the similarity to a particular scene from the classic movie "Stand By Me"



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